Dating someone with student loan debt
Dating someone with student loan debt target profiles and
Drs, lawyers etc all have huge student loan deebt. They also all have the possibility of student loan forgiveness, regular raises, higher income possibilities, and the chance of jobs that come with retirement accounts. It is far more cocnerning to me to marry someone who has no retirement account and who I will very literally have to support in thier old age than someone who has student loans.
First, thank you for the insight re: My thoughts have been put into words by fellow commenters fairly well, but just have to add: I understand trying dating someone with student loan debt post articles that are realistic, not just optimistic, but this is really discouraging for a lot of us that come to this site for ways to positively influence our lives, and to build ourselves UP around our financial situations.
I have to face the fact that my fertility may run out before my student loans do. Should I not have a kid then? The first rule of debt payment is: When you have surplus cash, put it toward your highest-interest-rate debt.
There might be some exceptions variable-rate loans, prepayment incentives or penalties, credit-building exercises, dsbt. Currently, federal student loans have a 4.
Even better, student loans are eligible for forbearance financial hardshipdeferment continuing educationand even forgiveness public service. Talk about credit scores and spending habits; best free dating 2014 about retirement and health and life insurance; talk about employment prospects and typical salaries.
Now, there are certainly irresponsible sources of student studentt debt: But there are lots of viable plans that involve often require! I budget for my savings, bills and mortgage payments and keep living my life. I appreciate you taking the time to respond so thoughtfully, David. I just want to point out, as the founder of the site, that part of the reason I started it was so that people like Maya could talk about the financial choices and thoughts they dating someone with student loan debt, but would normally keep to themselves, as dwting is an incredibly taboo topic.
I wanted the TFD community to be able to talk about these issues, to respond to dating someone with student loan debt another, and to learn and grow — which Maya is doing now, in reading and responding to all of these comments.
And I fully support your mission: Use big labels, right at the top of the article, to distinguish vetted articles that are offered as objective advice from commentaries that are offered as a solo perspective. Readers notice that stuff or, at least, should and respond accordingly.
People tend to totally overlook tags, so you generally have to come up with dating someone with student loan debt custom. My parents were very strict about me not taking on debt, in large part because they know the impact it can have on starting an adult life.
This writer comes off as very classist, and so does your sit. You do real harm to people less somelne than you when you publish stuff like this. Trust me, 18 year old Chelsea hated her parents for making her choose CC. Why are you talking in the third person?
Poor baby went to CC. Are you ok after your miserable experiences? If we dating delft marks do it, you can too!
Not if I want my electricity still running next month, that is. This article just came off as harsh and narrow minded. I started this blog to track my budget and it grew, unexpectedly, from there, so we are definitely learning as we go.
This article is the tipping point of bad writing on this site lately. A personal finance writer that has a 5 year car loan? That prefers CC or car debt over student loan debt? I think you need to balance. Yeah, the writing is lacking big time lately. I love the advice, personal stories, and confessions on TFD. Unfortunately, you have to skip over posts like this that come off as bratty, entitled, and not well thought out, not to mention as others have pointed out giving completely unsound financial advice.
I feel like TyPiNg LiKe this is something Chelsea kind of coined and feels appropriate coming from her voice, but other writers shouldnt try to copy. I am a math nerd, concentating on statistical analysis and corporate financial analysis.
I am not a financial advisor, and most definitely dating someone with student loan debt YOUR financial consultant. There are navy hookup stories things to think about in the context of the article: Since they are not usually dischargable in bankruptcy, they carry disproportional weight in your credit history.
They also consume the largest part of your discretionary income, meaning you will have less to put away for your retirement, vacations etc. SO, while it is true that by paying the most you can on higher interest loans credit cards and cars will result in you spending the least money on interest, it is often not a reasonable strategy. Strategizing your payments depending on the actual amounts you owe, willl give you the best balance.
Dating someone with student loan debt still have to live, after all. Not thinking about this LONG before marriage will inevitably result in at least some resentment, as one partner carries the burden of both. Spending time discussing this before merging finances means less stress for both partners. Financial issues are a leading cause of divorce. The harsh reality is dating someone with student loan debt the money you put away in the first years of your employment largeley determines how well off you will be in retirement.
It is a truism that failing to plan is planning to fail. If you have any dreams of becoming financially secure, you MUST have a plan. What will you do if you get a bonus? If you are fired? If you need to take medical leave? If you inherit some money? If your partner leaves? TFD is a great resource, but not the only one.
UPDATE: We broke up. I almost didn't because it was a hard decision to make. Here's to starting over.
Almost no-one I know, even those who are quite well off, has any real understanding of how their finances work. When my loa and I met, she had 2 teenagers, one of whom had been repeatedly in trouble. I had no children. She was making reasonable money, but was seriously stressed with the juggling.
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I was selling insurance door-to-door and while I was making good money, my soul was being sanded off. We moved in together 3 months after we met, and as soon as I understood her financial position, I started helping her with her bills. So, when the poop hit the rotating air handler, we were, as far as we could be, ready to deal, without attacking each other in the stress. This has stood us in good stead over the last years.
Lord, how we talked.
About everything, but never AT each other. She barely graduated HS undiagnosed dyslexia makes it hard to study, yes? Sorry about that, honey. So glad you complied with Jillian and my requests to expand on your insights. This was dating someone with student loan debt helpful, really appreciate you taking the time to share. Oh yeah, one more thing. And thinking differently is a great recipe for disaster. I think a bigger challenge is when two people in a couple bring different levels of assets or debts to a relationship.
Marriage is a partnership, in which you accept the good and the bad. I get where the author is coming from here. In choosing my life partner, I very strongly take into account their relationship with money. This includes all debts, not just student loans. A relationship with someone who does not have a similar attitude about money as me, is not going to work long-term. I don't know, you're right, but it depends heavily dating someone with student loan debt the subjective value of things I guess I fuck single moms, but I won't marry them, pay their bills, or give them anything other than what I get from them.
Would you mind posting a Reddit Log of that there? I could use another drag car. If the relationship isn't as important as your financial future, next her. Find someone with less financial baggage. How does one "next" a girl you've been seeing for 2 years? Would I be that big of a douche if I just cut contact? Which means stating what's happening and being final about it.
She will try desperately to convince you out of it, considering all the "investment" she's putting into your relationship what with moving in and everything. She'll act like she's clinging to you, but really she'll be clinging to a plan that just happens to rely on you.
Depends on whether you want to break up with her or if you want her to break up with you. In your case I'd go with the first option. Give her a call safety issues of carbon dating tell her shes taking the relationship to a place you dont want it to go and its time to end it so both of you can move on with your lives.
Any interactions with her should be on your terms or not at all. It doesn't mean you dont act civil, but after you drop the bomb and cut the chord with her she dating someone with student loan debt going to be pissed. Personally I'd keep my interactions to texts about what times are good for you for her to get her stuff back and you your's if its important enough for the hassle. Be careful with anything extra sex, that blowjob she never wanted to give you, or anything else she might offer.
It doesn't mean she will but generally there's one of 3 things she is going to do. Go nuclear with you, bargain, or she was planning on ending it anyway If you think that she is likely to manipulate you, then yeah, I sure as shit would. I think you might have oneitis dude, or is there other info I don't know that is important here?
Look, I don't know your exact situation, but thats my opinion on this matter, with the info you've given. If the girl's debt isn't going to cause a problem for you, then perhaps wait and see. I wouldn't say she is trying to manipulate me, but it feels like she may be out of options. We actually broke up, and she came back to me. Why did you dating someone with student loan debt her back? That is losing frame in my opinion. She is a cornered animal, and she will lash out at you if she feels that she has an hook up crossword clue route from the debt.
I've always been good with money. I hate to see someone have that much debt. I was with my second wife for nine dragonfruit dating site, married for 18 months, and I ended it by text. It doesn't fucking matter how you end it, just decide and don't be a pussy about it. But money is such an important thing that can bleed into everything else, maybe it's just too hard to overcome this.
And indeed if finances are blended, OP is gonna wind up paying off all or half, depending on dating someone with student loan debt you look at it those dating someone with student loan debt, every penny, plus interest to accrue in the future.
You say that now. Just because you aren't directly paying off the loans, doesn't mean you aren't paying. She sneakily escalates the relationship. You guys purchase some things together, maybe cosign for a car, maybe share a bank account, sign a lease together. You end up paying everything age limit for dating in iowa she has no money after paying her loans.
Even if you don't co own anything, you'll be paying all the bills alone. Or she doesn't pay the loans and they go into collections, and then shit gets real ugly, all the while you're supporting. Financial issues ruin relationships, even if you aren't legally responsible for the debts, you'll run into major issues. If you're having doubts now You're already off to a bad start. A million times this.
She doesn't want to move in with you, she wants to live off of you. I have to ask, what level of degree does she have with that kind of debt? If it's anything less than a masters, fucking bolt. She makes a few hundred more than me each month. If she consolidates the loans after you are married, you can be on the hook after a divorce, depending on the judge. Yes, this applies to student loans if the judge wants it to. She's moving in with you, in a city she doesn't have a job in.
You'll end up paying somewhere. Snap out of it. This one is easy. The two years you spent with this girl are a sunken cost.Dating Women With Large Debt!
Leave it well alone. There are so many red flags. The fact she wants to escalate the relationship is a poor sign as you are the one who should be in control of the process.
I can only assume that you see this girl on a temporary basis, that obviously skews your perception of what it means to be with her. That is, you don't have a quality ztudent on what dating someone with student loan debt of person she is. You already confronted this. There are likely women in your home town who are up to this girl's level without the excess financial baggage.
Thanks for that honest comment.
It is highly suspect that she wants to escalate on her terms--if we move in, she wants to be engaged in a year. I told her I wasn't interested in buying a ring if I didn't benefit in any way from the engagement. Presumably the benefit for both of dating someone with student loan debt would be being together, maybe starting a family. If that doesn't seem like a benefit to you, that's ALL you need to know.
I'm not against the idea of marriage. I am married almost 20 years. But if you aren't excited about this, now is when you have to stop the process. If she moves cities and moves in with you, she can start guilting you. So far you can say no cleanly. What did she major in? If law, medicine or finance there's a good chance she'll pay it off. If she does get a job in one of those fields, you do realise you're going to have to out earn her if you want to keep her?
Did dating someone with student loan debt check that to see that she can actually get that job and that it actually pays that much to beginners? Sounds like a lot for MSW with no experience. Granted, it is a fairly fluff career field, but I think the return on investment shows how shortsighted she is. Masters in social work because of the feels. I'm currently making 44k with a bachelor's. I have to pay for benefits and a pension out of that total.
You need to walk away from her. Never be with a woman with financial baggage. You said many times that the debt is in her name and that it has nothing to do with you.
It has everything to do with datnig If she's moves in with you you will be paying her debt indirectly by paying for rent, food, entertainment, etc. She's always someome good about spending an equal amount of money on myself.
I guess things can always change when the lease is signed. General rule of thumb is student loans shouldn't exceed first years expected gross pay. Many women have an epiphany and retire, re decide unilaterally to dating someone with student loan debt stay home moms. I don't give a shit about my girlfriend's financial status. Marriage is off the table, anyway, so what does it matter if she has some debt? It's not my debt, and I'm never going to write a check are milo and hayden still dating help her with any of it.
I assume she has a nice degree. If she uses that to get a good job, then I would call it a good investment. Deebt she gets pregnant "accidentally" all her problems now become part of his dating someone with student loan debt.
No, that's not true. Her student loan debt doesn't become his responsibility just because they have a child together. You don't have to marry a girl just because you knock her up. So if the mother has a lot of debt, then yes he will pay more child support. Marriage is not even an issue. Child support will be calculated regardless of whether they are married or not.
I'm a divorce studrnt. You have a complete misunderstanding of the law. Hell, I just took losn quick glance at California's stuudent child support calculator and unsurprisingly student loans and similar debts are not a factor. What do you do when your significant other is struggling under the weight of student loans? Should you dump him or her because of the debt? Could you bring yourself to marry someone with substantial student loans?
IonTuition, which provides dating nrj 12 online debt-management service for students, conducted a survey of 1, American adults to determine how student debt plays out in dating.
During one of my recent online chats, a reader expressed apprehension about dating illinois dating sites with student loans. At 20, her parents disowned her for being gay. She went from homeless to working full time to paying for college and graduate school herself and has become a very successful adult.
What would you do if the U. Do you have any advice on aith to be more understanding? Listen to how someone is talking about his or her debt. Does the person osmeone a cavalier attitude about it?